Saturday, August 9, 2008

The Opression of the Hyperhidric

Hyperhidrosis is a punishing disease.

You may or not be aware: Some people around you sweat more than others. Those people, if they want to be clean, must do more laundry.

The added costs in time, detergent, and awkwardness--or wash-and-fold bills--present a financial burden for the excessive sweater of modest income.

The professor is considering starting a charity. For research & laundry costs. And maybe psychotherapy.

Why bring the therapy community into this?

Good question. You see, the sweaty can also be oppressed socially. Wet arm pits or a sweaty handshake can ruin a job interview or a date, for those unlucky enough to be involved with people who judge others based on their sweatiness.

Also, sweat can sting when it gets in your eyes. If other people's sweat gets in your eyes, it tends to sting more than your own sweat. So, the hyperhidric harm their lovers.

Sweating in a positive light


Sweating is misunderstood. It is, in fact, good for you. Sweat contains a germ-fighting agent that can help fight off infections. Researchers found the gene behind the protein it produces. They named the protein Dermicidin. Dermicidin is manufactured in your sweat glands where it is injected into your sweat which then takes the Dermicidin to your skin's surface where it protects against bad guys like E. coli and Staph, and Candida. Link.

Thus, the sweaty are also the healthy.

And, in New Orleans, folks are actually proud of their sweatiness and were displeased to learn that they were the third sweatiest city in the U.S., coming in behind, of all places, San Antonio and Dallas. Link.

19 comments:

Paolo "Sweaty" Von Perspirato said...

Sweaty people have to shower more often too. Don't forget - higher water bills, more soap use, increased chance of slip and fall accident, more towel use adds to already increased laundry burden.

Italian Spidermant said...

I think a poll about sweating is order, don't you, Professor?

snoring woman said...

I want some sweating links in the sidebar please.

The Buddha (mistake me for no other) said...

Yeah, it's all about being the victim, I tell ya. What happened to personal responsibility? You lazy bums have no sense of personal responsibility.

Professor Marvel said...

lolling@the buddha's comment

Anonymous said...

the buddha is constructing a straw man, to some extent. that's what the buddha does, though. i think he calls it cones or something. americans don't want to hear what the buddha says. they want to hear what others have to say about what the buddha says. the buddha says "Disappointment condition a perfunctory prescription of an indigent mindset a beligerant silence we got all we need turning out of a tin can."
or is that beck who says that?

Anonymous said...

ha ha jk it is beck who says that

Anonymous said...

Beck would never misspell belligerent like that. Check your sources. These are not the original teachings of Beck. You have created false idols! Thou shalt not create false idols! Buddha said that stuff, or something like it. He said "thou" a lot, that I know for sure.

the buddha (mistake me for no other) said...

Suffering is the condition of living. If those who sweat suffer, so be it. If they learn to live with their sweatiness and accept their fate as sweaters (preferably the wool kind rather than the acyrlic kind), they could reach a higher level of being during reincarnation.

jiminy cricket said...

Wait a minute. I ssmell a racist here. What is wrong with acrulic wool dblend?

The Anti-Beck Justice League said...

Beck is a false idol.

Beck said...

Silk blend sweaters are my favorite. Both for wearing and eating and having sex with. Doing the majority of your sweating during sex helps get around that suffering problem. Plus, well, you might find someone to grant you a wish about it. Lots of ways around suffering, buddha, if you're willing to deceive yourself a little.

Anonymous said...

Buddha, have you considered switching to Scientology? I mean, I know Buddhism is named after you and shit, but Scientology has a reincarnation component similar to that involved in some versions of your teachings, plus Scientology is more focused on not suffering than say, Buddhism. Americans spend way more on the teachings of LRH than they do on your teachings. There must be a good reason for that. Check it out. Take a free stress test, Buddha, you seem kind of stressed.

Anonymous said...

A pro-scientology post from anonymous? I smell Black PR. You are a plant.

T. Cruise said...

I will prosecute anyone who badmouths Scientology.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, no kidding.

Professor Marvel said...

Alright, ENOUGH. Beck is a close personal friend of Professor Marvel and he is also a Scientologist, as is his lovely wife.

His comments here are extremely welcome and I will not stand for any bad mouthing of Scientology, or any threats. I'm looking at you Mr. Cruise ...

Now, everybody play nice.

Billy the Troll said...

Professor Marvel is a closet Scientologist.

Anonymous said...

Words have a lot of power. PhD's choose them carefully.