Tuesday, August 26, 2008

A tribute to wingpeople

Wikipedia defines wingman as follows:

Wingman is a term in the seduction community that a man may take when he goes to a club or bar with an accompanying male. A wingman is expected to support his friend in approaching women. The men often pick a desired woman, who is referred to as the "target". The man intending to seduce the target is often called the "pilot." The wingman is expected to back up the pilot, which typically entails talking to the target's less attractive friend(s) and making comments that will make the pilot seem more attractive. The 1986 film Top Gun is often credited with bringing the term into popular usage.

The wingman motivates the pilot to be social and practice approaching women. He helps the pilot approach pairs and groups of women without the awkwardness of being alone. He will sometimes take the less attractive woman of a pair so that the pilot can get the more attractive without interruption. In certain situations, the pilot will go with his "AW", commonly referred to as Automatic Wingman. He has the most experience in playing the role of wingman.

Other responsibilities include remembering details (i.e. target's names and personal information) as well as compensating for intoxication in the judgment of the pilot. The point of the wingman, however, is defeated if he himself becomes an obstacle; hence the application to the wingman of the 11th commandment (or Second Law of Wingmandom),[1] "Thou shalt not cockblock."[2]

Sometimes, we have wingmen or wingwomen in our lives that we don't even realize are playing the role of wingperson. God bless them all. Thanks to them, life can be hilarious. May hi-larity reign. May the Ironic Force be recognized as the missing piece in the equation that will unify the disparate cosmological theories once and for all.

Rental wingwomen are available at wingwoman.com.

19 comments:

kurt cobain said...

I am flattered!

Sincerely,

Kurt Cobain

Anonymous said...

wtf is the "seduction community"?

I am honestly afraid to click that link.

Admin. Marvel said...

You are sappy as hell tonight, professor. Do you have a brain injury?

D.B. said...

where is this fabled "wingman" when you need a taxi?

Fucking hypocrite!

Anonymous said...

professor, you need more than a wingman. You need a whole squadron of wingmen.

Courtney Love said...

You have thin lips. You do not look like me. I have poofy lips. I am more wasted than you are.

morgan freeman said...

Laudable approach for grown-ups who don't play games and who don't seek thinly veiled homosexual activities with their best friends.

Professor Marvel said...

You are NOT more wasted than I am!

Professor Marvel said...

@morgan

I sense thinly veiled judgmentalism. My workshop is not the place for that.

crispin glover said...

After an apertif at the lakehouse, the wingmen become spreadsheets.

Professor Marvel said...

Yes, as it turns out, I do have a brain injury.

Professor Marvel said...

spread your sheets, wingmen.
spread your wings, sheetmen.

morgan freeman said...

Now when you're killing your brain cells, you're doing the same thing as killing yourself [but] you're just doing it slower!

crackhead - I don't want to kill myself sir. said...

@morgan

[but] I'm sure you mean "more slowly."

Brain cells extend into your nervous system all over the place. False dichotomy, Morgan.

Professor Marvel said...

I was forced to make this post. But I mean it nonetheless.

bobby lee said...

Thanks for correcting Morgan - no one would have caught his point otherwise. But let's get back to the fun about wingpeople.

Assistant Marvel said...

Yes, thank you, Bobby, for getting us back on track.

Stupid Crackhead.

Assistant Marvel said...

And, by "stupid crackhead" I was referring to the crackhead, not you bobby.

Chrissy the comedy pimp said...

It's a fine line between wingman and pimp...