Incrediballs

I am the King of Balls

Detour on the trail of my KISSes

The sweet purple goodness of ube is irresistible to the King of Balls.

On the trail of my kisses

Maybe you'll be happy.

Welcome to Manila, King of Balls

New Feature

Look over there ---->

Prelude to a KISS

Preparations are beginning....

It takes a lot of Balls (or should I say Bayag?) to swallow LIVE TYPHOID. But, hey, who's the King? That's right!

It turns out live typhoid is a friendly little fellow. He (?) has explained to the King of Balls WHY it's important to take Vaccine in a Capsule on an empty stomach. The King of Balls' stomach is rarely empty ... I would have totally ignored this step if I didn't know why it was important. Then I would have run the risk of being infected with Typhoid Fever. Talk about ballsy!

This is a representation of my digestive tract.

I am the King of Balls.

What if I forget to take a dose? It's every 48 hours. That is very confusing. Swallow live typhoid. Now today, don't swallow it. Now today, swallow live typhoid again. Oh, I'm tearing my hair out here! See what I mean about how confusing it is?

Thanks little buddy, that helps a lot.

A Reminder

I am the King of Balls.

Breakfast

The day started off in a wholesome way this morning. The Workshop cafeteria served up chicken, pizza, and fries, all in one amazing food.

Oh, and Greek Yogurt too!

In Greek: γιαούρτι, pronounced yee-ah-OOR-tee

This is a basic recipe for homemade yogurt using commercial full fat milk.
Ingredients:

* 1 quart of full fat sheep or cow's milk (pasteurized)
* 2 tablespoons of previously homemade yogurt or plain unflavored yogurt at room temperature
* 2 tablespoons of full fat milk (same type) at room temperature

Preparation:

1. Heat the milk just to the boiling point and pour into a non-metal container.
2. Let cool to lukewarm (100-105F). A skin will form on top.
3. Mix the 2 tablespoons of yogurt (homemade or commercial) with 2 tablespoons of milk.
4. Add to the lukewarm mixture, carefully pouring down the side so that any skin that may have formed on top is not disturbed.
5. Cover with a clean dishtowel and place on another towel in a warm, dry place for at least 8 hours (or overnight) until it thickens.
Note: 8 to 12 hours is best. The longer the yogurt coagulates beyond that time, the more sour the taste becomes.
6. Carefully drain any excess liquid.
7. Refrigerate for 4 hours before using.
8. Store in the refrigerator and use within 4-5 days.
9. Don't forget to save a small amount to make the next batch!

The yogurt can be eaten as is, along with the creamy skin on top.

To make the thick yogurt used in many Greek recipes, follow these directions after step 6.

# Dump a container of plain (unflavored), yogurt into the center of the cloth.
# Bring the four corners of the cloth together and lift the yogurt.
# Over the bowl or sink, twist the corners to squeeze out the liquid (it will drain through the cloth).
# Continue squeezing, putting the yogurt under pressure, to force the liquid out.
# When the majority of the surface liquid has been drained, it will start to drip more slowly. Tie off the top of the cloth just above the mass of yogurt with string.
# Place the cloth containing the yogurt in a strainer or colander, and place the strainer or colander in a bowl where it doesn't touch the bottom (so that the liquid can continue to drain).
# Place the bowl containing the strainer/colander in the refrigerator and allow to drain for 2-3 hours.
# After draining, take the cloth containing the yogurt and put it in the sink (do not remove the string).
# Place the palms of your hands on the bag and press down to force out any remaining liquid.
# Remove the string, open the cloth, and using a spatula, put the yogurt in a bowl for use.
# Note: How thick is thick? The yogurt should be at least as thick as sour cream.
#

Great ideas from site visitors:

* Use a coffee filter to strain (forum discussion)

Yam Jam

Sweet Potato Preserve

* Peel sweet potato and cut into desired size and shape.
* Soak in lime water (one tablespoonful lime to one gallon water) overnight.
* Wash thoroughly and drain.
* Prepare syrup made up of two parts sugar and one part water. Cook sweet potato in this syrup for 15 minutes. Let stand overnight.
* Boil syrup again until it gets thick. Drain.
* Pack sweet potato in 12-ounces jars, fill with syrup and half-seal.
* Sterilize for 25 minutes in boiling water.

Seal completely.

Whacking and cleaver

While Professor Marvel did an excellent job of posting the beautiful lusty photographs of the fried potato ball and the fried pork, the good professor did not write about the preparation of the food.

What preparation is necessary, given that the food is pre-prepared? Well, there's two crucial parts:
1) The person at the counter takes the order.
2) Somebody plates the food.

Item 1: The person at the counter takes the order.
It turns out that really the person at the counter of Cuchifrito does not take the order so much as decide what the customers need to eat. The professor and I agreed that this is the right procedure and that all other dining establishments have it wrong. How could we disagree with the beautiful fried potato ball and fried pork ribs placed in front of us? Imagine how badly our meal could have gone if we had received what we had unwittingly ordered.

Item 2: Somebody plates the food.
All dining establishments would be more enjoyable if it involved a counterperson taking a fried pork rib and whacking (very loudly whacking with deft up and down movements of the right arm) of the said rib with a cleaver. I am a proud owner of a cleaver that has seen excellent use, and I endorse this message for cleaver use in America. (Well, I am not running for an office, but it's fun to endorse something. Try it.)

Got It After All.

The Professor wanted to show you loyal readers something shiny. While the Professor is normally a stunning photographer, something was amiss, and the shiny object remained elusive.

Too much shaking eliminated the shiny thing from the photo.

Caught a bit of it, but still too shaky. Be careful taking photos on boats, Readers.

Artsy, but no statue.

Ah, well. Let's look at the Woolworth Building. It's lovely and ornate, if not shiny.

Wait, what's that?

The Professor, who puts on the ill-fitting Philosopher Hat at times, tries to extract meaning out of this. Does it mean sometimes you'll get what you want if you just stop trying? Does it mean that if you want them enough, God will give you shiny things? Does it represent the fact that all we are ever really left with are accidentally captured semi-accurate reflections, even of things that seem blindingly important at the time? Let's squeeze every last possible bit of meaning out of it, Readers, until all that remains is a small blurry bit of a photo of a reflection of something that was really shiny in person, at one time, somewhere.

Bamboo

We were talking about bamboo in the warehouse today.

I recently mistook sugarcane for bamboo. My neural connections are being pruned at a rapid rate--to use a metaphor sometimes applied to the developing mind of an infant--and the sugarcane mistake was yet another example of this "pruning" and for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to share the bamboo mistake with the others participating in the bamboo discussion. But I kept silent. Just sniffled, felt my nose itch and rubbed at it as I considered again whether I was experiencing a cold or allergies. It mattered for several reasons, but the symptoms were confounding the damn diagnosis. Rule out Common Cold. Rule out Allergies.

We ruled out bamboo as a material that could improve the warehouse in both function and design. Unfunc means unfunctional, in made-up design idiom. What means ugly and unfunctional again? Ugunfunc? unfuncug?

The reasons why bamboo wouldn't work out in the warehouse were elusive to me, yet obvious. But unexplainable. I doubted myself as my fingers ached. I am frequently confused, forgetful. The obvious isn't as reliable as I used to believe it to be. I was flailing a bit. I occasionally or often flail a bit, as I have developed no system for remembering things beyond relying on the now elusive yet once-perceived-as-highly-functional neural connections.

Writing things down seemed like the only way, in the limited universe of my limited brain. Put a system in place now, I told myself, before it gets worse. And stick to it. I know you don't believe it on some level, I said to myself, because the ability to remember correctly has been a part of your experience of the world for so long. Now you have to doubt yourself. Get used to it. It may be your salvation.

I thought of some benefits to the loss of cognitive reliability, and the recognition and acceptance of it:

1. Self-doubt can lead to considering more possibilities--and considering other possiblities can create new cognitive connections; although, it seems, those connections are often not as strong as one expects them to be, based on past experiences of the strength of connections. By "one" I mean "me" and by "me" I mean the King of Balls.

2. For individuals lucky enough to have their self-concept not inextricably wrapped up with their perceived memory and "sharpness," it can lead to asking other people or the internet for information and occasionally widening one's scope of knowledge by acquiring information--again, probably with a weaker ability to remember the connection than once was readily available to the now inadequate mind. Or not inadequate, but better at different things? Who knows? Let's come up with some possibilities to make ourselves feel better, shall we?

Other people know things I don't. But the bamboo--what of it? Who thought it would work in the warehouse and is it there yet? Why is it a topic, and where did it come from?


I am the King of Balls.

Bruxelles

Pate is not very photogenic.

Croque Monsieur, on the other hand, is a natural in front of the camera.

The mussels may also have a modeling career in their future.

Come in for your close-up, dear.

Global Warming Teapot

We were in a jam ...

Ah, the Magic

Professor Marvel's Roadshow

The journey of a lifetime starts tomorrow.

Nevermind what is important to the Professor

Nobody likes the sadness poll, and nobody is voting in it, and nobody has visited the workshop since the Professor opened the voting. Please forget it ever existed. Don't be sad.

Kiss me. That's an Order.

I am the King of Balls.

They love me in the Philippines. Little carts with green signs order people to kiss me.

I must experience this in person. I will travel to Manila in the coming months where I hope to get kisses, and balls, and hope not to get hepatitis. I may even invest.

I am not kidding. I am the King of balls.

We have photos of Courtney Love!

Did you know this? Where are they? Are they really here, in the Workshop?

Postillion, what do you know about this?

Good job, King of Balls.

Except for that double posting, you are golden.

See comments number 23 and 24.

A footnote to a life.

Rest in Peace, David Foster Wallace. We love you. The world will miss you terribly. Thank you for your colorful multifaceted writing, for reminding me to enjoy life again and again over the course of two decades. You are wonderful.

Sussman.

I am the King of Balls. This man is an idiot. See below for a more eloquent discussion of same.

Rant: Stupidity, Please Mock

Well, we all knew it...the blog is just like the world in revealing the many aspects of human nature. But it happens to be different than the world in that any individual can have their ignorance and stupidity crystallized and revealed for the rest of the world in the way of all fast media.

Therefore, without further ado, I have the displeasure of outing this particularly self-insular and self-centered piece of writing by a young man who had never heard of David Foster Wallace until Wallace's recent sad death.

On the blog, as on in the real world, not knowing something doesn't always imply that the person is not famous; it can just be a pointer at one's own lack of knowledge in certain arenas. Given that all of us are necessarily limited in knowledge due to the limitations of the human brain and time on this earth (I fully admit my ignorance of all things related to pop culture, mathematics and science), there's no problem with that. However, what is a problem is mistaking a serious writer who suffered from a debilitating mental disease as a sensation- and fame-seeker.

Mr. Matthew T. Sussman could only have made such a mistake in ignoring his own ignorance of a very well-known American writer and foolishly deciding to turn his ignorance into a sensation- and fame-seeking piece on David Foster Wallace. He should feel ashamed for his lack of intellectual curiosity as well as a lack of intellectual honesty. In both traits, he is the exact opposite of David Foster Wallace whose writing is much admired for displaying an energetic curiosity towards all things and all beings in the world as well as the ability to work through intellectual questions in a discerning manner.

Unuseful

The most unuseful thing off the internet

The most unuseful thing on the internet

(By the way, exclamation marks are not allowed as part of tags/labels...how unuseful. By the way, I would argue that unuseful can be semiotically different than useless...or I am just illiterate.)

Oh, unuseful here is useful.

Useful

The most useful thing on the internet.

Also Useful

The second most useful thing on the internet

Dear Mr. Wrake,

If this is copyrighted or otherwise shouldn't have a screenshot here, please notify the Professor immediately via the comments to this post so I can take it down. I think it's an internet miracle and want to draw attention to it. The workshop's two or three readers will really enjoy it, I'm sure of it. Maybe they'll send you money or name their children "Run." I know I will.

Lunchtime at the Workshop.

What, just bread Professor?

No, no. Also sweet creamy butter.

Cheese fries?

No. Poutine!
Click for a closer look and see if you can't spot one of the large tender cubes of meat in the gravy.

Those are tiny cubes of Chorizo, and there's a real clam underneath there. Click on it. I dare you.

The Professor's Sole.