Saturday, September 20, 2008

Unuseful

The most unuseful thing off the internet

The most unuseful thing on the internet

(By the way, exclamation marks are not allowed as part of tags/labels...how unuseful. By the way, I would argue that unuseful can be semiotically different than useless...or I am just illiterate.)

Oh, unuseful here is useful.

51 comments:

Joanie said...

I'm crying. I'm dying. I don't want to die.

King of Balls said...

Up is down, Joanie. You are a dinosaur, honey.

jeff (female) said...

NOoooooooooOOOOOOOOooooooo!

King of Balls said...

idiot.

jiminy cricket said...

You people are freaks!

Professor Marvel said...

we need help.

elly-mae said...

In the hills around Sacramento, does it matter if distinctions need to be made, on a continuum of practicality, between "impractical due to danger of use", and "benignly impractical", and "impractical for most", etc?

I didn't look in a dictionary for "useless" and "unuseful", so I don't know their socially constructed denotative meanings. Even if they are the same, the Professor's distinction seems to imply she makes an internal distinction between "useless" and "unuseful", so that it seems honest to discuss it at that level.

I take the Professor's comment to mean she believes "useless" is something less than "without use", and for which a suggestion of use could be offensive or, at best, bitterly humorous. With respect to "unuseful", I take the Professors distinction to mean "little or no practical use in typical daily lives, but inoffensively so, and an enjoyably impractical benign use may exist". Quine would argue against the employment of "unuseful" if there is a benign and seemingly impractical use for a thing because, after all, that implies a "use", just a different sort of use.

But even if this is correct or, alternatively, even if the dictionary defines both "unuseful" and "useless" the same way (I didn't look in the dictionary), the Professor's distinction between "useless" and "unuseful" in her post appears to assist us in identifying distinctions along a continuum of practicality, and here's to that. Unless I completely misunderstood the Professor, which is always a possibility.

In a similar vein to Northern American Original Peoples, whose vocabulary apparently includes many words to describe variations in snow, perhaps English-speakers would benefit from additional words to describe variations in practicality or usefulness. Yee-hah!

Postillion said...

Excuse me, Elly-mae, but the Professor made no such distinction. I did. The Professor is not capable of such distinctions. It is I who contribute all noteworthy materials to this website. In other words, it's about me, get it.

King of Balls said...

Elly, elly, elly.

Do not confuse Postillion with Professor Marvel. It would be more appropriate to confuse me with Professor Marvel, and, really, how appropriate is that?

Admin. Marvel said...

All work posted on this site is property of Marvel Enterprises, LLP.

Therefore, yes, technically, we are all Professor Marvel.

And although the Professor referred to our one-ness with the words...

The Professor's mind IS the workshop. When you're in here, folks, you're part of it. If the Professor's stupid, you are too. If the professor is delusional, you are too. If the professor is giddy, you are too. Luckily, it shifts fairly quickly from state to state.

... in reality, the Professor maintains a great deal of separation from the dangerous mind of Postillion. It is treated like an intruder, like a parasite, an alien, like the X files, like an unwanted Siamese twin. Like a tumor, a government implant, or an ill-fitting hat.

Professor Marvel said...

Who is this Quine person? Can Quine participate in the Workshop? Is that a good idea?

Professor Marvel said...

Also, WTF, Elly-Mae. "She"?

Your assumptions about the Professor's gender are interesting.

Mike said...

Joanie, Quit. Just Quit. Jeff, look, it wasn't really all that great. I wrote a fucking song about it, for God's sake. Just find some other way to amuse yourself.

Mike said...

You were too young to understand what was really going on. My music speaks more to you and you know it.

Postillion said...

The Professor is, understandably, afraid of superior minds.

jiminy cricket said...

Owwww, fight fight fight!

Sequined Non-Sequitur said...

Drats! I should have had Challah bread French toast for breakfast.

She Who Knows it All said...

Wait, Professor Marvel, are you saying that you are not She Who Knows It All?

Professor Marvel said...

I definitely am not She who knows it all.

Professor Marvel said...

Who are you?

She Who Knows it All said...

Don't get all existential on us, Professor Marvel.

Anonymous said...

I think you are both mistaken about the concept of the self.

Professor Marvel said...

I never stop being exponential, she with the lightening fast reaction times.

I mean existential.

Claus Cloud Appreciation Society member #143226 said...

The Self is like a cloud...porous and diaphanous.

jeff (female) said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh I love Joanie Mitchell! Waaaaaaahhhhhhhhh.

King of Balls said...

You are not the real jeff (female).

jeff(female) said...

I am the real jeff(female) or not.

thomasina (female) said...

You can't be the jeff (female) because you don't have a space between jeff and (female)

poet-writer said...

Owwww, chiasmus. Well done, anonymous poet!

Anonymous said...

Good point Thomasina (female). However, I know you are sublimely crazy.

Thomasina (female) said...

Actually, I am a sublime lime.

Virginie (male) said...

Really, she's a chanteuse in chartreuse.

jiminy cricket said...

You are all crazy. Bats. Bonkers. Nuthouse. Mice in the attice. In other words,, Crazy.

King of Balls said...

Oooh, I like where this is going.

Actually, I don't know where it's going. But I am not afraid of the unknown.

I am the King of Balls.

Ron Serling said...

You've entered the Twilight Zone.

Ron Serling's camera man and lighting crew said...

The Twilight Zone is another dimension that vaguely resembles a keylime pie.

Sequined Non-Sequitur said...

Oh, maybe I should have eaten keylime pie for breakfast.

King of Balls said...

Who are you people?

Jeff (female)
Jeff(female)
Thomasina (female)
"Sequined non sequitur"
"Claus Cloud Appreciation Society member #143226"
"Zen-master, Cloud Appreciation Society Member #348606"
poet-writer
Virginie (male)
Ron Serling
Ron Serling's camera man

You all have some serious reform in your future, if you know what I mean.

Although, I have learned some things (scansion, chiasmus, emerging not budding) from poet-writer. The rest of you, though ...

I don't know what to say.

Make it real or get out, dudes.

Sequined Non-Sequitur said...

This morning, I am eating pan-fried rice cake.

jiminy cricket said...

Owwww, fight fight fight!

Ron Serling's camera man and lighting crew said...

I will put you into another dimension, King of Balls.

(Actually, now that we think of it, you probably are from one).

jiminy cricket said...

You lcloud people are crazy. Crazy. Bats. Bonksers. Mad, I tell ya. Mad.

Virginie (male) said...

Oooohhhh, come to my room, King of Balls, and I will show you real real good.

jeff(female) said...

Hey, hands off, you bitch. He's mine.

thomasina (female) said...

Virginie (male) is not a bitch. He's a whore, a he-slut, a bastard, a jackass, a ball-flaunting toyboy. But he's not a bitch.

See, that's why I know you are not the real Jeff (female). Because you don't event recognize that Virginie (male) is a male.

King of Balls said...

To be fair, Thomasina (female), Jeff(female) did say "Hey, hands off, you bitch. He's mine."

Also, gender is of little consequence around here. We bend it and shit.

jeff (female) said...

Easy for you to say, King of Balls. Your gender is never in question. Being a female named Jeff is not easy. I suppose if I changed my name to "Jeff, Queen of the Mammaries" or something I could have an easier time of it.

Jeff, Queen of the Mammaries said...

I think I will do this that.

jeff (female) said...

No, wait, I meant "just that." These Mammarians are all illiterate, including me. I humbly return to being Jeff (female).

jeff (female) said...

Can I join the cloud society?

Earl said...

What the hell? You have a problem with clouds? How could anything be more innocuous and less deserving of internet scorn? What do you do in your spare time, Postillion, eat puppies?