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South Pacific
Little Spirals
Can you scratch an itch anywhere on your back?
Has the workshop been poisoned by sentimentality? (Check all that apply)
Are you dignified?
What time is it in Manila?
Personal Growth
Blog Archive
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2008
(77)
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September
(26)
- Nevermind what is important to the Professor
- Kiss me. That's an Order.
- We have photos of Courtney Love!
- Good job, King of Balls.
- A footnote to a life.
- Sussman.
- Rant: Stupidity, Please Mock
- Unuseful
- Useful
- Also Useful
- Lunchtime at the Workshop.
- A new poll, an old poll.
- Sappy in the past and the future.
- Thank you
- There are itchy people everywhere
- Rule of personalities on the workplace
- easier to build than maintain
- I am the King of Balls
- footnote continued on next post
- A plea
- It's 9/11 and
- Obligatory 9/11 Post
- Also Pathetic
- King of Balls
- Pathetic
- Two culprits killed, little spirals may be exonerated
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September
(26)
Snails and Consumer Culture
Should snails go here?
Pun of the day
Search the Workshop
Index
- ambivalence
- and sudoku
- baby lions
- balls
- bamboo
- bar napkins
- bear gloves
- behaving badly
- being impolite
- being ordered
- bird formations
- boredom
- breakfast
- cancer
- Chickin Lickin
- cigarettes
- cleaver
- closure
- Clouds
- complacency
- Courtney Love
- Cuchifrito
- Cyril Connolly
- David Foster Wallace
- death
- dice
- dignity
- dinner
- dopey dog
- Dummheit
- Dwight Yoakam
- Ennui
- Erinnerung
- eu
- EUODI
- Eviler
- evilest
- excitement
- exclamation marks
- Experiments of Unkindess on One Deserving Individual
- fashion
- favor
- film
- finger sandwiches
- First person
- folie a deux
- footnotes
- foreshadowing
- fried pork ribs
- fried potato ball
- giant yam
- Gilda Radner
- goodness
- goodness of dictionary.com
- Greek Yogurt
- guests
- hating on Professor Marvel
- hating on Republicans
- horror
- hot sex
- idols
- ignornace
- intellectual curiosity
- intellectual honesty
- internet
- investment
- itchy
- jam
- judgments
- Kakuru
- kid gloves baaaaa
- king of balls
- kissing
- Kurt Cobain
- language
- llama
- love
- LSD
- market will bear
- Matthew T. Sussman
- maybe
- meaning
- meaning machine
- metaphor
- Most useful
- Mystery
- Nobel prize
- nonsense
- ny subways
- odiosus
- odious
- odium
- opie
- orders
- petty tyrants
- Philippines
- Pizza Fries
- Pommes Frites Ball
- post office workers
- postal
- postillion
- Professor Marvel's sanity
- Professor Marvel's Vertsand
- quotidian
- rabbits
- rant
- reflections
- Reflexionen
- reminder
- remorse
- Reue
- Roller
- royalty
- sadness
- sardonic searing witticisms
- scooters
- scratchy
- self-serving
- snails and consumer culture
- stake: steak
- stamp prices
- stamps
- starlings
- stupidity
- sweat
- Takashi Hiraide
- takostubo
- takotsubo
- tea
- Third Person
- time
- tired
- token psycho
- travel
- trying to order
- turkeys
- twin studies
- typhoid
- ube
- undignified
- Unkindness
- unnütze einzelnen
- unuseful things posted by useless individual
- vaccination
- Vorahnung
- whacking
- worms
- Yam Jam
- yellow penises in my plant
- yokohama
Fungal Gallery
61 comments:
Thanks Postillion, this is going to change my life!
But what about our tradition, son? You dishonor me.
If you kill Mike Watt with your irreverence ...
*shakes fist*
...
The Professor is speechless.
My heart's not really in this. My heart ...
*clutches chest*
Is it a heart attack or a broken heart?
It's Takotsubo/!
Fucking unbelievable.
Quick, administer the Beck Depression Inventory!
The professor is mildly depressed:
Page 1
Page 2
Oh lord. The Professor had a stroke!
Professor, you're doing so much better! Look at your results from 1995.
Page 1
Page 2
This confirms the stroke diagnosis. Why didn't you fools rush the Professor to the hospital when the chest clutching was going on. Jerks.
It's lookin' to me like the Professor is manic. Honestly, who writes in negative scores on their depression inventory?
I think we need a new image host. This waffle one is kind of iffy, although I do like waffles quite a bit. Paid Intern Marvel, please do some research.
Beck, I question the usefulness of your inventory. We need an objective test. Let's administer an I.Q. test.
Uh-oh.
That's a loss of like 25-35 points since the baseline was established 10 years ago.
When did this happen? Call a doctor!
Dudes, the Professor just had a stroke--are you surprised at this decline?
Of course, the Professor is still capable of simple competitive tasks. You'd need a loss of 35-45 more points for a finding of retardation. While the Professor may not be able to continue working as a Professor, the [former] Professor retains the ability to be an unarmed security guard.
I AM a doctor.
And I meant Simple Repetitive Tasks.
I have to get out of here--the stupidity is contagious.
*zip*
The Professor's mind IS the workshop. When you're in here, folks, you're part of it. If the Professor's stupid, you are too. If the professor is delusional, you are too. If the professor is giddy, you are too. Luckily, it shifts fairly quickly from state to state.
Funny, I don't feel stupider.
Definitely brain injury.
I'm one third smarter than Professor Marvel.
I am the king of balls.
That's apples & oranges, King of Balls. Why don't you use the same testing instrument?
Suck my instrument, Mike Watt's Dad. Your son may be a wicked bass player but you are not, are NOT, to mess with the King of Balls, you hear?
Go on, what's your IQ, loser? That's my instrument. Enjoy it.
This must stop now. Get a life, all of you.
You are all really fucking pathetic.
It's actually 35-45 points lower. I may be a lot stupider, but I can still do math better than my administrative staff.
SHUT UP!!!!!
Somebody please help me.
I am the King of Balls.
Stop it!!!!!!
Professor, since I'm so much smarter than you I've fixed your links to your mental health problems.
post-stroke BDI page 1
post-stroke BDI page 2
pre-stroke BDI page 1
pre-stroke BDI page 2
My IQ.
I am the King of Balls.
I'm not having any trouble with the links.
Stop. Just Stop.
I didn't realize the Workshop was in Texas.
Just you wait when you are desperately searching for a restroom in NY, Professor...
Please don't encourage the Professor.
Oooowwww...I want to ssee what the Proffessor does now! Come on, professor. Put your dukes up. Fight fight fight!
Great. Last timet his happened, I had to clean up everytining.
That's an outrage! Have you paid interns been using your power against unpaid interns?!#%$#@$^@
It really is all about who controls the means of production, isn't it?
Or is it?
The Professor is a figurehead, an innocent, a pawn in a game being played out by the Marvel staff on a daily basis. Non-staff only see this from the outside, and they foolishly think that being an insider is an appropriate goal. In reality, it's poisoned in here, sheer poison. Sticky and toxic and sticky. I'm not a staffer here, of course, but I've gotten a glimpse. Oh, it's terrifying, in that way it's terrifying when you find out about the horrible things one human has done to the other, as portrayed on the evening news in a way that makes a moral judgment about it, but really it's beyond moral judgment. Or irrelevant to it. But it's still sticky like gum on your shoe, and poisonous like radioactive gum on your shoe.
I will eat some fava beans now.
I am the King of Balls.
RIP DFW
They're a little bitter, those favas.
Well, wouldn't you be bitter if you were being eaten?
Actually, don't answer that, King of Balls.
Do they let you eat with them, Unpaid Intern Unmarvel?
Do you miss your brethren in the King's stomach? Come, join us. We miss you, fava.
Fava #23,
Is Kurt Cobain living in the King of Ball's stomach with you?
Also, why doesn't the Google Blogger allow us to use capitals for our names when we leave comments? Does the Google Blogger encourage punctuation illiteracy?
Your living brethren who prays for you,
Fava
I know, man. I really like Capitalization. It does something for me. It makes me feel big. Like I'm a castle of fava beans ... on another planet. A large, ruddy plane--a planet with the potential for life. Inhabited only by the ghosts of fava beans and kurt cobain.
oh, fuck capitals.
Never has so much activity been so pointless.
I have several mental problems. We've already established this earlier in the comments to this post about finding a restroom. Scroll up if you don't remember. Or refer to past posts.
This is therapeutic for me. Not compulsive, but therapeutic. Not a symptom, but a poultice.
Really, I'm not kidding. Therefore, this is not pointless. WHERE WOULD YOU BE WITHOUT ME? THERE IS NO ASSISTANT MARVEL WITHOUT PROFESSOR MARVEL?
Just go with the flow a bit, okay?
Assistant Marvel,
Do you not go on the other parts of the internet? What kind of internet blog assistant are you?
Assistant critiquer
The afterlife is in my stomach.
I am the King of nice clean balls.
(for scansion - although, I am the King of clean balls has this nice "follow the yellow brick road" thing going on.)
Fuck Scansion.
Heaven is in my stomach. I am the King of Balls.
Heaven?
Stick to "the afterlife" please. The Professor wants it to remain secular in here.
Plus, do we know that Kurt Cobain went to heaven? I know the favas are innocents, but I'm not sure about Kurt.
Nirvana is in my Stomach.
I am the King of Balls.
It's crazy in here. These favas are fucking nuts. Drink some tea or something, King of Balls.
Well, it depends, King of Balls.
"Follow the yellow brick road" only allows for one reading, scansion wise, due to follow and yellow rhyming. Whereas "I am the King of Clean Balls" can be read in two slightly different scansions depending on the speaker's emphasis.
I still think you should stick with the simpler "I am the King of Balls." I think that's all you are capable of. Besides, I don't want to consider who might be cleaning your balls.
I want my thirty minutes back.
First, I wasted time on actually clicking on that useless "useful" site. Then, I thought there might be useful comments given that there are over 50 comments. Nope. All useless.
Somebody owes me thirty minutes. Pay up, Professor Marvel.
These comments are far from useless. Look what we've learned. Look what we've done. And, more importantly, look at what we've not learned. Look at all the things we've not done!
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